Almost twelve years ago, at the ultrasound for my first child, I found out I was having a boy. My first, nearly panicked thought was, “what on EARTH will I do with a boy?!” Thankfully, now I’ve had lots of on-the-job training — plus a few tears and LOTS of laughs — and discovered that being a boy-only mom is the coolest gig in the world. In the years since, I’ve welcomed two more wonderful, robust boys into our family. Each of my sons is precious although they all have different temperaments. However, as I’ve watched their personalities develop, there are a few things that I’ve learned are true for all of them. As I’ve talked with other boy moms and observed their sons, I’ve found that there seem to be some traits and habits that are just hard wired into boys.
If you’re a boy mom, I know these are truths that you’ll appreciate…
1. “Get your hand out of your pants”. If I had a penny for every time I said this I would be a billionaire.
2. I’m very familiar with superheros, Star Wars, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and just about any other save-the-day character that exists. I am sometimes expected to know plot lines and I am regularly corrected on my pronunciation of said characters names and locations.
3. Anything can be turned into a weapon. Anything.
4. Boys often work out differences among themselves with a good smack or punch. I have found it to be a losing battle to fight their instinct because usually, within a few minutes, they’re back to hugging each other.
5. There is nothing more precious than a boy’s adoration of his mama. Seriously. It’s the best.
6. Boys have feelings. And lots of them. I loathe that folks discount how deep boys can be. They hit, they run, they yell and they feel. They feel SO BIG that sometimes they can hardly contain it.
7A. “Why is your underwear on the…” You can fill in the blank here. There is hardly a surface in our home that underwear hasn’t been left on. (If you’ve been to my home, please don’t fear: I am a big fan of Clorox wipes!) To this day, I do not understand the joy of ripping off your undies and leaving them laying around the house.
7B. Clothes are often a lost cause. In my experience, my boys are happiest with the fewest articles of clothing on as possible. Even when it’s cold outside. When they do get dressed, they will most likely pick an odd combination that doesn’t make sense to you. I advise you to pick your battles.
7C. Don’t buy expensive clothes. Even for special occasions. They will find dirt. They will run and rip their pants. They will spill something that stains. It’s inevitable.
8. There are few things as satisfying and fun as a tickle fight turned into a wrestling match. The same can be said for a good round of arm wrestling.
9. Boys like to be creative, too. I was seriously concerned that I would never do an arts and craft project as a boy-only mom. I was wrong! They love to sit at the table and paint, draw, mold clay, and create. They especially love gifting finished projects to ladies in the family.
10. Farts will be a part of your life for a very long time. Not a day passes in our home that does not involve farting and jokes about farting. I have digressed to laughing with them… because quite honestly, it really is funny.
11. Inhale that amazing baby smell when they are babies… because boys start smelling, even when they’re little… and even when they’re not farting. 😉
12. Boys are part monkey, part frog. Heights don’t seem to faze my boys: in fact, the higher it is, the bigger the thrill. I have learned to mostly turn away while they are scaling the walls as it tends to make my palms sweat.
13. Even when they are very small, they will consume more than seems humanly possible. Keep the cupboards well stocked — as in you’re preparing for a blizzard — at all times.
14. Curiosity got the cat… and the boy. There is nothing like a good adventure to pique a boy’s interest. They seem to have an innate sense for sniffing out the next big thing to explore.
Nothing can completely prepare you for the surprises of being a boy mom. It will change you in ways you least expect. But — being a boy mom is the best gig in the world!